Do you ever feel like you are playing a waiting game in life?

I have reached this point where I feel I have absolutely no control.

A major trauma has occurred and while the crisis point has passed, I still can’t move forward. I certainly can’t move backwards either, although I’d give anything to turn back the clock.

Everyday I feel like I am just going through the motions. In the grander scheme of things it has been such a short time, but I have felt every. single. second.

There should be something, anything, I can do to shake this feeling but every attempt I make seems to fall short.

I try to believe that everything happens for a reason, however this is starting to wear a little thin.

But maybe I just need to sit with this feeling. Perhaps I am supposed to bide my time and see what happens.

Did I mention I am not a patient person?

In the meantime, I will pour my energy into my babies. I will do whatever I can to ensure they feel loved and nurtured. They are, and always will be, my number one priority.

Of course, I know this time should also be for my healing. It’s an essential part of my journey and I need to accept that sometimes it’s okay to assume the foetal position and that a box of tissues and a packet of Tim Tams are perfectly reasonable traveling companions, given the circumstances.

So onward I will plod, trying to carve my way in this new world, hoping that soon I will be somewhere other than here, in limbo.



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One comment

  1. Must be awful. Days can be filled with mothering but nights…. Oh how I understand you wanting it to be “over & done” & moving on.. But it’s that rotten time thing & waiting thing… Wish I could help.. In my own kind of limbo right now but nothing as wretched as yours. In my thoughts xxxx D
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