{Team Friday} The one where I accept asking for help is not admitting defeat


I’m a bit lax at maintaining physical health and fitness (a trail of broken gym memberships and failed diet regimes stand testimony to that!) but it never occurred to me that I would suffer from not maintaining my mental health as well.

You can read some of the back story here, but essentially I’ve spent the last few years oscillating between denial and despair. Something had to give. And it did.

I know the exact moment I finally accepted that I was broken. A few weeks before Christmas,  I was in the car driving to work and I started crying for absolutely no reason. With the tears came a moment of clarity. I was definitely NOT okay. I could not longer carry on carrying on.

So, I did it. I bit the bullet and went to my GP for help. I accepted the meds and the subsidised psychologist sessions.

And you know what? I feel a damn lot better for it.

And in doing so I’ve learnt a lot about myself. I also can now accept that:

  • Asking for help does not mean you are admitting defeat
  • Asking for help means you are accepting you are human
  • Asking for help can actually be liberating

I now feel better than I have in months, dare I say, years.  At the risk of venturing into cliché territory, I feel like me again but a stronger, wiser version. A version of me that excepts that there are things in this world beyond my control, but how I think and feel can only be controlled by me. I must own that.

Stuff I’ve known all along, but just needed a little help to remind me.

Have you ever waited until breaking point until you’ve asked for help?

Linking up with B Being Cool for 





PS I’m acutely aware that this post pays no regard to proven mental health benefits of physical activity. Baby steps.


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  1. Louise says:

    I’m so pleased you shared this experience on your blog née. No doubt it will help many others confront what they are going through. I’m glad you’ve come through the other side. When you suffer depression it’s hard to see any thing but the darkness. Once you finally see the light again it is brighter than it ever was and oh so beautiful. You have always been an inspiration to me friend… You continue thus. Xx

  2. Me says:

    Many years ago I wanted to be the perfect wife, Mom, daughter, work colleague and I tried – I pushed myself further than I should have and I broke. It took me a long time to realise that I didn’t have to be the one making sure everything was perfect. It was OK if things didn’t get done – what was more important was that I was healthy and our family were happy. They didn’t care if we didn’t have meat and three veg every night – they just wanted me to actually be there with them not in the kitchen making some fancy meal. Asking for help and getting it made me feel better about everything – when I stopped trying to do it all life got so much better for the whole family.

    It is so hard and I am really glad that you sought help and got it.

    Have a great Friday – love, hugs and positive energy !
    Me recently posted..Fitness Friday !My Profile

    • Née Say says:

      It’s hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes isn’t it? Hopefully I’m well on my way to getting my priorities sorted. Thanks so much for sharing your experience x

  3. Thank you for sharing Née. You are brave and strong and your sharing will help those that are in similar circumstances. It is so hard when we are bombarded by such ‘perfect’ images of life these days, we feel weak and hopeless, but the facts are most feel this way. xx
    Lipgloss Mumma recently posted..An old friendMy Profile

    • Née Say says:

      Thanks hun. Not sure about the brave and strong part but I do hope I can help someone in some small way. I honestly never thought it would happen to me!

  4. B says:

    You are awesome. I love love love this! I actually think that we are scarily similar you and I.

    I came to a breaking point just after Christmas – well the most recent one anyway {stoopid thyroid}… I think that where we break and mend it, actually becomes our strongest point. Don’t you think? You would not have gotten to the point of getting help had you not acknowledged being broken {or not okay}. I now feel so sad for those people who plod through life trying madly to hold it all together, if they let go and acknowledged that they were broken and dealt with their stuff, they would be so much happier and freer!

    This post – this is Team Friday. Thanks so much for your support you lovely thing.
    B recently posted..Team Friday #2 – Wagons & AppsMy Profile

    • Née Say says:

      You are definitely right, B. The moment I set my mind to getting “fixed” I felt stronger immediately. I just regret waiting so long to take action, but I guess, like anything, I had to come to it in my own time. So glad you liked the post. I was worried I was getting a little off topic but the timing felt right xx

  5. Every time I’ve needed psychological help Nee, it’s not from my own doing but in saying that if I would’ve been stronger mentally, physically and emotionally, I wouldn’t be in the predicament I’m in. I’m finally learning that after 48 years. Glad you got the help you needed.

    Anne xx
    Anne @ Domesblissity recently posted..Chocolate Banana Cake + a baking tipMy Profile

    • Née Say says:

      Thanks Anne. I’ve started to compare it to a broken leg – if your leg is broken, you get an x-ray, a cast & people offer to help immediately. Depression is just as debilitating, I would argue more so, but much harder for anyone to see or fix. Hope you are doing well xx

  6. carmen says:

    So you’re human!
    I have to say this happpens to the best of us. How do I know? Because I’ve been through it myself.
    We are not an island. We all need help. Having the courage to admit it and ask for it is the first step forward.
    We will be behind you all the way.
    Just remember to keep looking forward! xxx
    carmen recently posted..Our house…My Profile

  7. Stacey-Lee says:

    It can only get better with help yet we are so reluctant to ask for it! True that asking for help doesn’t admit defeat, just doesn’t feel like it at the time :-( So very glad that you realised it and are all the better for it xo
    Stacey-Lee recently posted..Drawers RepurposedMy Profile

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